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PHILADELPHIA, Pa—Senator Barack Obama shocked even his most senior advisors in a speech yesterday when he claimed that he was an “elitist, ultra-liberal bastard.”
The unprecedented remarks came as the Democratic front-runner stood next to the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia with a look of confidence that has been missing from his recent appearances.
“My fellow Americans,” Obama began, in what was the only part of his speech that could be described as conventional. Then he paused for a full ten seconds before saying, “Since I’m an elitist, I can memorize my speeches and ad-lib a lot. Bush is far from being an elitist, and he can’t even give a decent speech with a teleprompter. Tonight, I don't have a speech. So we’ll see what happens.”
The crowd, estimated to be over 30,000, was silent as Obama began what was easily the most controversial speech ever by a presidential candidate.
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