A Breath Of Fresh Air From Dave Barry

December 08, 2008

CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS

FIRST PRIZE goes to Danny, for this entry:

“Because Secretary Paulson had struggled in previous attempts to explain what the big banks and brokerage houses had done to the U.S. economy, his staff prepared a visual aid that told the story in clear and graphic terms.”

Danny also submitted these:

-- “Responding to criticism from environmentalists, Oscar Meyer officials announced today that the next-generation Wienermobile would be a hybrid.”

-- “What happens in the desert outside of Vegas stays in the desert outside of Vegas.”

SECOND PRIZE goes to Meanie the Blue, for this entry:

“Some have complained that the USDA's definition of ‘Free Range’ was a little too broad.”

Meanie also submitted these:

-- “What the government does not want you to know about Area 52.”

-- “Experience the eHarmony difference.”

THIRD PRIZE goes to gfunksizzle, for this entry:

“Since everybody got the internet, it's gotten harder and harder for Girls Gone Wild to shock the public.”

gfunksizzle also submitted these:

-- “In retrospect, Marlene agreed she should have given the Wienermobile GPS a more specific destination than ‘Nebraska Caverns.’"

-- “Unfortunately, Oscar Meyer's windshield wiper development team would be less confident after the test.”

-- “The resulting carnage and lawsuits would bankrupt Monsanto within the year.”

HONORABLE MENTION goes to:

-- "Unfamiliar with the new methane-powered Wienermobile, Jennifer was unsure where to insert the gas line." (Lou Bricant)

-- "One of many rejected 'Lexus December to Remember Event' commercials." (also Lou Bricant)

-- “Vote Larry Craig!” (Clay)

-- “But then Kirstie Alley realized it was only a dream.” (J-Lose)

-- "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, in this demonstration the cow represents the individual known in the indictment as 'Kristin' and the Wienermobile represents former Governor Elliot Spitzer. Now, what happened was...." (Jeff Tompkins)

-- “Bessie couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that she was being followed.” (Cat R)

-- "Mad cow in three... two... one..." (Also thanks to Cat R)

As always, we thank you for participating, and we assure you that your entry was clearly the best and would definitely have won except that judi does not like you.

Posted by Dave on December 8, 2008