Commentary On Those Considered "GOOD" Parents

Corinne Maier: Keep your friends — don't have kids

Posted: August 25, 2009, 9:30 AM by NP Editor

As is well known, love makes you stupid. The smitten man who talks about his sweetheart non-stop for hours, listing her wonderful qualities and quoting her bons mots, drives everyone crazy. It's the same with the bedazzled mother, marvelling at the wonder her body has produced, who bores her friends to tears with her excessive parental devotion. As the great playwright Georges Courteline said, "One of the most marked effects of the arrival of a child in a home is to render completely idiotic the wonderful parents who without it would have simply been imbeciles."

The insanity starts with the Sharing of the Birth. It's not just Evelyn and John who are involved in Anthony's arrival in the world but Anthony himself, who lets us all know that he has arrived chez Evelyn and John. The amazed daddy posts photos of the vapid family on the Internet, shows whoever wants to see -- and many who do not -- videos of the baby taking a bath or opening Christmas presents. He drives around with a "Baby on Board" sign on his car's rear window, a pious modern-day symbol that's about as useful for guaranteeing safety as a lucky charm. Every poor person who politely inquires, "How's the kid?" -- the way we all say "How are you?" without really expecting an answer -- is treated to an agonizingly detailed account of the lightning progress of his progeny. "Oscar is already using the potty." "Alice sleeps right through the night." "Noah built an incredibly realistic snowman." "Yesterday Ulysses said, 'Papa poo poo.'" "Jackson passed second grade!"

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