Scary stories
So be sure and check out my
Top Five Stories Guaranteed to Scare Conservatives.
WARNING: Be warned these tales are not for the faint of heart.
5. Attack of the Nannies
In a land called Canada the government is very nice and tries very hard to protect people ---- from themselves. They have “State Nannies” who seek to regulate and control every aspect people’s lives. They tell Canadians what they should and shouldn’t eat; they explain how Canadians must sneeze; they order Canadians to wear helmets while riding bicycles; they say Canadians can’t talk on cell phones and drive at the same time; they give Canadians instructions on how to throw out garbage; they nag Canadians to exercise. The State Nannies do all this to make Canadians healthy and safe. And all they all ask in return is that Canadians surrender their freedom. Now that’s scary.
4. Obamascare
Canadians who don’t like their country’s government-run healthcare system, with its high costs to taxpayers, its doctor shortages, its rationing and its waiting lists at least had the option of getting better medial treatment in the Unites States. But then something scary happened. A bunch of mad scientists – otherwise know as President Barack Obama and the Democratic Congress – concocted a plan to inject the US healthcare system with a strong dose of socialism, meaning the American system will soon be as efficient as the Canadian system. Oh well, sick Canadians can still travel to India.
3.Night of the Living Bureaucrats
Once upon a time we had the right to free expression in this country. People could say things, even unpopular things, and the government would leave them alone. But then out of the depths of censorship hell there emerged the Human Rights Commissions. These Comissions, the result of a bizarre and unholy experiment which stitched together unrestrained state power with mindless political correctness, have an insatiable lust to destroy free speech. Some Canadians like Ezra Levant and Mark Steyn have sought to destroy these abominations by driving the stake of public opinion through the HRC hearts. But the Commissions will not die!
2. Nightmare on Sussex Drive
Years from now Canadians who cherish freedom will sit around campfires and tell the horror story of “The Coalition” (Insert scary music here) It all began in late 2008, when the Three Politicians of the Apocalypse – Stephane “The Green Terror” Dion, Jack “The Taxer” Layton and Gilles “The English Killer” Duceppe formed an unnatural, unspeakable union. Defying natural, if not constitutional, law, their aim was to take over the government. Madness! Canadians shuddered in terror realizing what this monstrosity of a Coalition would wreak across the Dominion: Layton as Finance Minister! Duceppe as Foreign Affairs Minister! And most terrifying of all -- Dion as Canada’s Prime Minister. The horror! Fortunately the Governor-General, employing the mystical and little understand power of proroguement slew the Coalition beast. And the Conservative government lived happily ever after.
1. Son of the Deficit
Long ago before the age of Economic Enlightenment politicians would spend more money than they had. Hence the gloomy shadows of deficit, debt, waste and high taxes darkened our land. But then our leaders began to realize that spending beyond our means was a bad thing. So they got together and decided to banish the deficits and they promised never again to invoke the evil spirits of wild government spending. The people rejoiced and thought the deficits were gone forever. But the dark days came back. And it was Stephen Harper, the one time priest of fiscal sanity, who summoned them. No one knows for sure why Harper did this, but some say he sold his soul to the demons of big government. Bwaa haaa haa.
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