What do get? The Mammolitis, Mihevics, Bussins, Pantaloonies and of course the Moscoes......
Strokes of genius
Entrepreneurs draw on talents to survive during recession
I just got word of the new Miss Voluptuous Canada pageant.
Va-va-va-voom. Very clever. Yet more proof we are in the company of geniuses.
Miss Voluptuous. Miss VolUPtuous. Miss VolupTUous. Really rolls off your tongue, eh?
The pageant will fill a void. Miss Canada Plus has been belly up the last two years -- and no wonder, with such a boring name.
I was a judge once, but most media stayed away -- until I spilled the beans about the winner being a practising witch.
Otherwise, yawn. Miss Canada Plus? Sounds, well, heavy.
Now along comes a promo queen named Princess Boucher. She waved her creative wand and, voila: Miss Voluptuous.
"Sounds rosy and plump, eh?" Ms Boucher, 47, tells me. "'Plus-size' is so blah."
You understand the power of a name when yours is Princess. (It's a twist on Prince, a kin's last name.)
But you never know when inspiration will strike.
Boucher's bolt from the blue came just last Monday, sitting on her couch in Brampton.
"I'm a size 16 to 18, and I was thinking, 'why not have something that makes big women feel good about themselves and for people to acknowledge we have talents, too?"
Miss Big Canada? Don't think so. Miss Canada XL? At your peril.
So Miss Voluptuous it is. In just a few days, Princess is already fielding entry and sponsor calls. (See princesspromotioninc.com). The pageant is set for May.
Can't miss. I'll be a judge if they ask. Maybe a bit of genius pixie dust will fall on me.
Then I get a call from Viktor Mitic, 40. He's an artist with no wish to starve.
And a recession is no time for dummies.
Art dealers in this town are hunkered down like the rest of us. In tight times, what are you gonna buy? A Rembrandt? Or food for the kids?
A year ago, Viktor took stock and said, "I'm out of cash.
"How am I going to get the dealers to look at my work."
His last bright idea was painting Jesus Christ, then plugging Him full of bullet holes.
I feared there was a lightning bolt in Viktor's future. But nothing like this stroke of genius:
Want to sell paintings? Paint the sellers!
So, he did, after trudging from gallery to gallery, snapping the owners' pics with his cellphone.
Thirty six in all. La creme. Movers, shakers and career-makers like Stephen Bulger, Jamie Angell, Katharine Mulherin and Phillip Gevik.
Lo and behold, Viktor had no trouble getting a gallery showing, at Odon Wagner Contemporary on Davenport Rd. The display, naturally, includes a lovely painting of Mr. Wagner.
The top dealers in town turned out for the opening Thursday night -- at least those in the exhibit.
"Before, I could never even get them to look at my portfolio," Mitic marvels.
You see, art dealers can be a ruthless, grumpy, competitive lot. In the best of times. But few of them are short on ego.
So most of the paintings are sold or on hold -- at $3,600 each.
"Pretty soon, I'll have my work in every gallery collection in Toronto," says the artistic genius.
An accompanying coffee table book, $35, is selling like crazy, too. There are 36 editions -- each with a different dealer on the cover.
Bravo! Another master stroke. This is what separates us from the apes.
So Mr. Mitic is having a very merry Christmas. "I'm finally going on that Mexican holiday," he tells me. I assume he's flying genius class.
What's next, Viktor? How about painting the newspaper writers of Toronto?
I bet Bonokoski will order extra prints.
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