Media Comes To The Defense Of Scarboro

My Scarborough sings
By MIKE STROBEL

So Mayor Miller is writing a letter.

"Dear media hacks and jackals:

"Stop saying 'Scarborough' when you report bad things.

"Instead, please say the bad thing happened at 'Lawrence and Warden' or 'Ellesmere and Kennedy' or 'Eglinton and Markham' or 'Jane and Finch.'

"NO, WAIT! Jane and Finch is in North York. Sorry.

"Anyway, thanks a lot and I hope this gets Norm Kelly off my back.

"Yours, Mayor of Toronto (even Scarborough)."

This is so exciting. Hurry, Mr. Postman.

Last week, I took some flak from my fellow Scarberians for calling Councillor Kelly's idea a crock.

CFRB's Christina Cherneskey wondered how I would polish my sprawling 'hood's image and I said, Be Positive.

So, here are my 10 Best Things About Scarborough.

If you live in Weston or Mimico or Don Mills, I hope these will entice you to venture east of Victoria Park Ave.

1. SENSE OF HUMOUR

And, boy, do we need one. No wonder our natives include Mike Myers. Wayne's World was our world. Jim Carrey did time here.

Even our greatest band, The Barenaked Ladies, is funny.

Politicians, too. That Norm Kelly is a hoot.

And, of course, you know how to tell a Scarborough wedding. (The bride wears new construction boots).

2. STRIP MALLS

No joke. These gems dot the Megacity's east flank. They may look like concrete bunkers to you, but they are lively little hives of commerce.

The Mother Of All Strip Malls was the Golden Mile at Eglinton and Vic Park. In 1954, the Queen dropped in, perhaps dazzled by the 24-lane bowling alley.

3. THE BLUFFS

One of the Natural Wonders of the GTA. They are clay, sand and glacial debris from the last ice age. Parks line their crest. You could gaze upon the lake and never know you were in a metropolis.

Rosetta McClain Gardens is a horticultural jewel off Kingston Rd., east of Birchmount.

The best place to feel the power of the cliffs is at Bluffers Park, 400 acres with a marina at the foot of Brimley Rd. Have a brew at the Dogfish Pub.

4. THE ZOO

Cynics say it starts at Victoria Park, but the real deal is in the wilds of northeast Scarborough. If you did not know this, you really need to get out of Etobicoke more.

The zoo's 5,000 inhabitants, 460 species, can also be found at torontozoo.com

5. THE GUILD

The old inn, sadly, is doomed to demolition, but the grounds remain the closest thing Toronto has to Alice's Wonderland, outside of City Hall.

The 90 acres of rare Carolinian forest are speckled with chunks saved from wrecking balls all over the GTA. Bank arches, firehall facades, even the boy's entrance from R.H King (old Scarborough Collegiate), where my dad taught.

6. LAWRENCE AVE. E.

The larder of the city. You scoff. Great food in Scarborough!?! Well, all the downtown restaurants come here to shop at Arz Bakery, Nasr Foods, Diana's Seafood Delight, and the rest of this buffet in Wexford.

7. ROTI. SHAWARMA. CURRY. SUSHI. KUNG PAO ...

You'll not likely find fricasse d'escargot in Scarborough.

Want some real food? We are a gastronomical UN. Try the Roti Hut, near McCowan and Sheppard. Zen, on Eglinton Ave. E., is one of the best Japanese eateries in Toronto. We have our pick of Indian and Sri Lankan styles and, especially in Agincourt, fine Chinese.

8. THE DOME

Sure, you can shut out storms with the Blue Jays' dome, but you can see straight to heaven from ours. The magnificent green copper top of St. Augustine's is a beacon. The Kingston Rd. seminary, known locally as The Pope Factory, was built by brewer Eugene O'Keefe in 1913.

9. THE ROUGE

You think they paved Scarborough? Put in a parking lot?

Well, get off your asphalt and come see the world's largest urban wilderness, 15 times bigger that NYC's Central Park.

Commune with whitetail deer, coyotes, beaver, foxes, rainbow trout and the rare red-shouldered hawk.

Ask them why they live in Scarborough and not in North York or Riverdale.

10. DOLLAR STORES

Okay, sneer, you Beach belle, you Leaside snob.

But there is something deeply satisfying about doing most of your Christmas shopping, including perfume for your wife, for about five bucks.

Scarborough has 61 dollar stores, more than one per 10,000 people, two for every Tim Hortons.

And that's my two-cents on the charms of Scarborough.

There are many more than 10. Here's a bonus:

11. LOWER CRIME RATE.

LOWER CRIME RATE?!

Yessir. My 600,000 neighbours are 24% of Toronto's population.

We commit just 19% of the city's crime.

Surprise!