Rahaf Harfoush Should Be Awarded.......

....the Order of Canada and too bad we don't have a civilian award comparable to the Victoria Cross. I know my wife will be nominating her for this honor. Personally I have found that kids and dogs reflect their owners/parents.

Advice for those with bratty kids

Rahaf Harfoush
Toronto Star

I am going to tackle a subject that borders on the politically incorrect: people with unbearable children. Now, I have recently realized that obnoxious children are usually the result of obnoxious parents.

I congratulate those who want to take on the challenges of parenting. I am sure they find it quite rewarding and satisfying. Parenting is a noble life choice.

I just don't feel like having that life choice forced upon me in the form of a screaming demon child running around a restaurant when I am trying to have a romantic dinner with my boyfriend.

Don't get me wrong. There are many places where the precocious antics of children are amusing and even enjoyable. There are also spaces where children, no matter how cute – or no matter how hard it was to find a babysitter – are just not welcome.

I am so tired of biting my tongue in shopping malls and on the subway simply because of the ludicrous leniency afforded to ill-raised little brats.

Now, instead of trying to tell people how to raise their children or proposing child-free zones all over the city, I am going to draft a treaty to try and find a way to peacefully coexist. After all, isn't integrating differences what Canada is all about?

The following treaty identifies the different types of spaces available in the city, and attempts to identify acceptable behaviour for both sides.

Kid-friendly spaces

Kids are supposed to be curious and hyperactive. Therefore, responsible parents should take their young to spaces that allow them to channel this energy constructively. Parks, bowling alleys, arcades and after-school programs, for example, are excellent places for kids.

As for family-friendly restaurants, one need only look for high chairs, the availability of a children's menu, crayons and toys to identify an appropriate place. These restaurants can handle the boisterous chatter or petulant temper tantrum in stride. Take your kids there.

As a non-parent, I hereby recognize a child's right to these spaces and will not complain about the inherent nature of children if I choose to attend these venues.

Adult-friendly spaces

These include intimate restaurants, any movie rated PG-13 and above, the symphony, antique stores, etc. When attending these places, leave your children at home. If you do wish to bring your 7-year-old to see the latest instalment of the Saw Trilogy (true story) then please, show some respect for your fellow Torontonians.

As a responsible parent, you agree that should your child exhibit any kind of disruptive behaviour that detracts from the pleasure of other patrons (screaming, crying, running around the theatre) you will immediately remove yourself and your child from the premises. Go outside, calm your child down and come back in.

It's the considerate things to do.

Public space

Finally, I understand that there will always be times and places where children and non-parents will have to interact. These places usually include buses, subways, planes and elevators.

In these situations, I recognize that sometimes, no matter how well-behaved the child, stuff happens.

In such situations, we non-parents agree to be patient and compassionate as long as parents take the appropriate steps to minimize the damage done by the child (pressing all the buttons in the elevator of a 40-floor building is NOT cute).

I hope this will be a step toward ensuring everyone get the most out of our beautiful city.

Rahaf Harfoush is a member of the Star's community editorial board. Her comments do not reflect the feelings of the board.