...and I find the simpilest course of action is to hit the DEL key. Giving them their 15 seconds in the media spotlight just encourages them.
Web comment boards full of trolls
By MIKE STROBEL, Toronto Sun
Last Updated: November 13, 2010 3:31pm
Trolls infecting Internet comment boards need a hug, Mike Strobel says. Bilbo Baggins, you busy?
We could use a good troll-buster.
Good citizens of Webville know the creatures to which I refer.
Deep in their mom’s basement in Mordor they skulk, saggy and sallow, drool dotting blistered lips, sweat on feverish brow, frost on lonely hearts, fingers on grungy keyboard.
Internet trolls.
They lurk under the bridges of message boards throughout Webville, waiting for passing journos, bloggers and other posters. It is getting so bad, many media sites are considering dropping comments altogether.
Trolls scavenge while cloaked in anonymity. Or so they think.
Some days, I’d love to take down IP addresses and kick some troll ass.
Thursday, for instance, I wrote about a Kitchener lass who brightened up this dreary world by pursuing a love of all things Johnny Depp.
The trolls scented something cheery and scurried like orcs to the assault.
Such language, such venom. I won’t insult you decent folks by repeating it.
If Grandma Strobel were alive, there’d be some mighty sore troll tushes.
We columnists are used to trolls, of course. We have one foot in the Internet and trolls are always trying to scamper up that leg.
They no longer shock us, as they shocked the Kitchener lady, and some are even good for a giggle.
We learn to tell between a troll and someone who just doesn’t like what we write.
Is “Pat Anderson” a troll for posting “Wow. Who peed in your Shreddies?” about Friday’s column lampooning food porn?
Of course not. I’d buy “Pat” breakfast any day.
“Animal” gets closer when he posts of a column last week about the dangers of panda bears: “Are you ------- --------, Strobel. They’re ------- animals ... you ------- moron. What the ---- did you expect, Winnie the Pooh? You’re an idiot.”
That’s a notch or two up the spittle metre, and might be pre-troll, especially since “Animal” is a regular.
But at least he was on topic, which is un-trollish.
Here’s another contributor, about last Sunday’s column on the charms of Dundas Square.
“Where did you get that writing style of yours? It annoys the hell out of me ... I ask you please, go to your new neighbourhood, get me a gun with the serial number filed off, give it to me, I will gladly pull the trigger and shoot you.”
Now, THAT’S a troll.
It is tempting to “out” him, since he was easily traced. Same for other trolls, like the ones that gooned Ms. Kitchener. Friends, families, customers and employers might be amused.
But two trolls don’t make a right.
Instead, they deserve our sympathy, understanding and help.
It can’t be easy being a troll.
Long, long ago, before the Internet rose from Middle America, the Beatles foresaw the tragic troll.
All the lonely people, Paul McCartney sang, where do they all come from?
Actually, they’ve been around for eons.
No doubt, a forefather of modern trolls heckled the Sermon on the Mount, tagged the Taj Mahal, passed wind among the Fathers of Confederation, sent anonymous hate mail to Mother Teresa.
“Turn the other cheek” was a highlight of the sermon, and it’s good advice regarding trolls.
Certainly, don’t feed them. They love it when you get angry. It’s like pumping liquid Mars bars into a sugarholic.
No, let’s pity trolls, as society does dopers, alcoholics and all other addicts except smokers.
Trolls Anonymous (TA) meetings? The anonymity might exacerbate the disease. Okay, make it Trolls Known (TK).
Most important, smother them with kindness. Answer their posts with “I wish I’d thought of that” or “you have a way with words and I bet you also have lovely eyes.”
They will melt and emerge from mother’s basement into the welcoming sun. So show ‘em you care.
Hug a troll today.
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