I Wouldn't Chew My Fingernails (Couldn't Resist)

The Year Without Toilet Paper

A mantra for all Goreites.......

Some comments from Michelle Malkin.....

So, they refuse to wipe their two-year-old's bottom and have sworn off paper to save the trees.

But Daddy will kill how many of those trees selling books bragging about their impact-less lifestyles? (Beavan promises: "...the book will come out some time in 2009 (assuming the world, me and FSG all still exist). It will be printed and produced in some, yet to be determined, sustainable way.") Uh-huh.

Like Al Gore, these people are beyond parody.

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From the "No Impact Man's" question-and-answer page, I kid you not:

Can your wife use tampons?

Let’s just say this. Disposable culture is a big problem. We’re moving away from it. And I promised Michelle I would not discuss this for now. She has to be allowed to draw a line somewhere (at least that’s what our couples’ therapist says—joking). Anyway, for more on the tampon topic, read the comments in this post.

Have you considered the climate/waste/energy input associated with eating diary?

Please don’t try to make us give up our milk and cheese and homemade yogurt. I’m begging you. Since we’re eating only unpackaged local and seasonal food, that would pretty much leave us with nothing but apples a la cabbage and cabbage a la apples. Besides, we buy our milk from the local Ronnybrook Farms, where the cows are fed grass and homegrown corn.

How do you make fruit scrap vinegar?

Great book: Wild Fermentation by Sandor Ellix Katz. Get your scraps of fruit—apple cores, dregs of berries (though no berries for us cause they’re not in season), whatever—and chop up coarsely. Dissolve a quarter cup of honey (recipe calls for sugar but I can’t get it locally) in one quart water. Throw the scraps in and cover with a cloth. Let ferment for two or three weeks, stirring occasionally. Adds great flavor to—you guessed it—cabbage.

But what about after peeing, do you still wash? Isn’t that a waste of water?

To the tune of Oh Christmas Tree: Oh polar bears, oh polar bears, I bared my bathroom habits just for you… I bet you can figure out a solution. You don’t need me for this. Just picture our bathroom. There is a special bowl for cleaning water near the toilet and a towel for drying. What would you do if you didn’t want to waste water? I’m not usually coy but people have started calling me No Toilet Paper Man instead of No Impact Man.

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