Different Strokes For Different Folks

Rough Trade, Rough Rules

BY Sasha January 09, 2008 15:01

I recently booked an appointment with a professional dominatrix. I never really thought about the legal issues involved with BDSM until this experience (I was under the impression that this was black market activity, but that the police don’t actively go about busting these establishments unless they receive complaints). While I was parking, I noticed two police vehicles in front of the establishment. I informed the lady about the police to which she responded, “It doesn’t affect us, we’re not doing anything illegal.” Her response surprised me. Can you provide any further clarification regarding the legality of BDSM-related activities and is there anything a client should look out for to ensure that the establishment is adhering to the applicable laws? A LEGALLY ASTUTE MASOCHIST

You are correct in assuming that police don’t go around busting BDSM houses unless there are complaints. As lawyer Alan Young (who defended dominatrix Terri Jean Bedford) tells me, Bedford was busted because a neighbour saw her ad and flipped. (If all such home­owners knew about the workers secretly sexing away not 100 yards from them, they’d have a collective aneurysm.)

As for the illegality aspect, when I asked prostitution activist Kara Gillies her opinion, she offered some very detailed insights — facts that may even surprise women in the business.

“A bawdy house is any place used regularly for prostitution or ‘the practice of acts of indecency.’ BDSM could fall into either category,” Gillies says. “Many professional BDSM practitioners assume that if they are not providing overt or conventional sexual services, such as penile/vaginal intercourse, they are not engaged in prostitution.” Additionally, “There are many BDSM acts that are indeed outright sex acts, such as dildo training (read: ass-fucking) or body worship (read: cunt- and breast-licking). Providing these for money is considered prostitution. Further, prostitution has been very loosely defined in criminal law — basically, any compensation for sexually stimulating acts could qualify, even if there is no overt sexual activity.”

The phrase “acts of indecency” is not defined in the Criminal Code (in fact, Bedford says on her website that she still doesn’t know what she can or cannot do) but is liable to include such things as golden showers and so on. “Whether or not an act is considered indecent by the courts typically depends on the context,” Gillies continues. “For example, a blow job in the privacy of your bedroom would be interpreted differently than one in the local No Frills. However, there is a lot of grey area in between those two extremes. The concept of indecency also goes to the issue of ‘undue exploitation of sex.’ Over the years, the courts have increasingly read this to mean that an act is indecent if it causes harm. That harm is often addressed as harm to women individually or as a group.”

There is no way of determining whether an establishment is violating bawdy-house laws so, at the very least, cops could lay charges (for you it would be as a “found-in” — welcome to the Victorian terminology that defines these issues) and it would be up to the courts to sort it all out. But, as mentioned, it is rare that these establishments are busted anyway. “This is different from other sex-work busts where the cops frequently claim that the investigations are complaints-driven but are in fact usually initiated by the police,” says Gillies. Alan Young says he hasn’t had any calls since Bedford’s arrest in the ’90s and if the cops are hanging around an establishment it usually has to do with ‘secondary crime.’”

Gillies says if you are worried, “you might lessen the chance of being caught in a bust by patronizing small establishments with limited traffic and only one, maybe two, providers.”

Maybe, mistress
I think I have what it takes to be a true blue dominatrix. I’m an intelligent lesbian (a little bi), fascinated with deviant sexuality, educated, cultured, trained in classical dance (ballet mistresses really teach you what pleasure pain can bring) and all my sexual fantasies are mildly sadistic. Problem is, I have no idea how to connect with this world and I’m working on overcoming 28 years of contrary socialization. I want to be mentored by an expert but I have no idea where to start or whether my concept of this world is realistic.? BUDDING BABY DOMME

Ms Zea, of the Toronto Power Exchange (www.torontopower
exchange.com) does not offer training but gives some hypothetical scenarios to get you thinking: “If I were to train a novice mistress, I would focus on client/mistress psychology, behavioural reinforcement and modification, the often-overlooked skills of romance and seduction, legal and business aspects like management and marketing, trends, client screening and tricks of the trade such as the purchasing of fetish clothing and implements. I’d also focus on fetishes, role-play fantasies, areas of physiology and safety like where to hit or not hit, pressure and nerve points, CPR, first aid, non-violent crisis intervention and reading the client’s bodily responses and body language as well as activities and techniques like servitude and training, bondage and sensory deprivation, flogging, strapping, caning, cock-and-ball torture and nipple torture, suspension and sling play, electrical play, advanced medical play like enemas, catheters, urological sounds, piercing, scrotal inflation and infusion.” Most important, it seems, is professional domme self-care: “Living a balanced life, avoiding substance use, not believing the superficial hype of being a mistress and client and pro domme boundaries.”

Mistress Victoria Windsor (www.thewindsorroom.com) does offer training but warns that 98 per cent of all those interested drop out when they find out the level of work involved.