Advice to The Lovelorn

Top 10: Signs She's Crazy

By Steven Carlisle
Relationship Correspondent - Every 2nd Sunday

Is the girl that you're dating acting a little crazy? The first few months of seeing a woman is something of an introductory period, over the course of which you get to know a girl and find out if she's nuts. It's best to take full advantage of this grace period, before you get yourself mired in a committed relationship with someone who should be committed.

Some signs that she's crazy can be obvious, such as if she lives in a cult compound, a jail or a mental hospital. In all seriousness, more often than not, the signs are less obvious.

For the purposes of dating, crazy can be defined as a girl whose behavior is out of the norm, who scares you or who poses a physical danger to you. Read on for the top 10 signs that she's a nutcase who you should drop like a bad habit.

Number 10

She calls you endlessly
She's constantly checking up on you to find what you're doing, who you're with, how your day is going, and so on. The telephone seems to be her monitoring device; a way of knowing where you are at all times. And if you happen to not answer one of her calls, she'll keep hounding you until you pick up, and then drill you about not answering. This is more than just annoying; it leads you to question her behavior and underlying mental state.

Number 9

She's been in weird relationships
As you get to know a girl, she'll likely open up to you about her past. When she does, listen to find out what kind of guys she's dated. Keep an ear out for a history of emotionally- or physically-abusive relationships. Does she claim that her 10 past boyfriends all had clinical problems, or coincidentally all got restraining orders against her? Pick up on her past relationship experiences to find out what they say about her.

Number 8

She hijacks your family and friends
She's infiltrated your circle of family and friends like an intelligence operative. Maybe she goes shopping with your sister, or regularly talks to your mom on the phone. She might even go to the movies with your best friend's girlfriend. And while all this might be innocent in and of itself, the problem is that you don't even know that she's doing it. It seems that her motivation is to find out more about you, or build alliances with your friends and family. And the end result is that it'll be harder to dump her because she'll have your loved ones in her pocket.

Number 7

She argues in public
It's normal for couples to have disagreements, but she instigates confrontation... in public, no less. She'll accuse you of one thing, then scream at you because of another. Whatever the reason, it's never the time and place for her outbursts. Furthermore, she nitpicks and criticizes you in front of your friends and family.

Number 6

She's unpredictable
You can never anticipate her behavior and what sort of mood she'll be in. She has wild mood swings, breaking down and crying spontaneously or screaming over petty things for no apparent reason. She might even be clinically bipolar. In any case, she's a loose canon, one who could become violent and physically attack you or hurt herself. You should consider all this before making her part of your life.

Who's she to give you the third degree?

Number 5

She lies constantly
She lies to you compulsively about everything and anything, big or small, and does so for no reason. She might fib about going to a movie, when she really went to have a coffee with her girlfriend. She might not necessarily be trying to hide something, which is makes the lies so strange. If you observe her consistently lying to friends, family and co-workers, there's no reason to think that she isn't lying to you, too. You might have a pathological headcase on your hands.

Number 4

She interrogates you
In her eyes, you can do no right. So, she likes to play detective and find out what mischief you've been up to. She wants to know why you were 10 minutes late meeting her. Or she demands the details of the discussion you had while you were hanging out with a buddy. Your answers will never be enough. She always wants to know more; she must know anything and everything that involves you

Number 3

She snoops around
It starts with an invasion of your privacy, and then, to make matters worse, she confronts you about whatever it is she thinks she discovered. Maybe it's restricted to casual glances around your apartment for clues of other women in your life. Or it could go as far as to involve thorough searches of your living and work spaces, including the monitoring of e-mail or voice messages without your knowledge.

Number 2

She freaks over other women
They could be hot, or not, but she freaks out regardless. Whether it's with an elbow nudge or a discreet (or not-so-discreet) pinch of your arm, she's going to let you know that you shouldn't be looking. The really scary thing is that you may not even be looking in the first place. She might also demand that you stop hanging out with female friends or communicating with ex-girlfriends. This sort of jealousy is an example of serious insecurity.

Number 1

She stalks you
She follows you around to "check up" on you. You might have told her that you were going for a few beers with your buddies at the local bar, only to have her show up unannounced. The worst part is that she thinks this is normal behavior! If she calls and e-mails you incessantly, and shows up at your home or office unexpectedly, you might be in need of a restraining order.

crazy chicks

Don't jump to conclusions when you first witness one of these signs. If multiple ones appear, however, then you need to ask yourself whether you want to get into a relationship with this woman. Not every red flag is going to be on the list. If she keeps voodoo dolls and pictures of her with her exes cut out, you should know that it may be a sign of bad things to come.

If she is crazy, it's sad, but it's not your problem. You aren't her therapist. So, get rid of her before she drives you crazy and let some other poor chump deal with her.