Kyoto Is Critical BUT.........

Dion's 'Top 10' Kyoto excuses
By LORRIE GOLDSTEIN

Suppose a federal election is held this spring and Stephane Dion and the Liberals win. As I said, just suppose.

The Liberals will immediately be confronted by a horrendous problem -- how to keep their promise to implement the Kyoto accord.

After all, Dion and his party are still committed to enacting the international treaty on global warming they signed in 1998 and then forgot about until voters tossed them from power last year.

Despite their record of inaction while in government, last month they led the three Opposition parties in passing a private member's bill by Liberal MP Pablo Rodriguez, calling on the Conservatives to implement Kyoto. Indeed, the Liberals claim the legislation forces the Conservative government to act.

So that must mean the Liberals think the Kyoto accord is still doable, right?

After all, asking someone to do something you never did yourself and which you know can't be done, would be the height of hypocrisy, right? And the Liberals would never stoop so low, right?

Once you sort out all his verbal gymnastics on the subject, Dion's stated position is that if the Liberals are returned to power this year, they can still meet Kyoto's target of reducing Canada's greenhouse gas emissions to an average of six per cent below 1990 levels between 2008 and 2012.

Since, in the real world, as opposed to Liberal la-la land, many believe Dion's position is, how should I put this delicately-- oh, yeah -- INSANE, considering what it would do to our economy, Dion is clearly going to need some excuses at the ready, should the Liberals successfully claw their way back to power this year and then fail to implement Kyoto ... again.

Just like all the other post-election excuses the Liberals needed for not fulfilling all the other election promises they made, starting in 1993.

Here then, with the obligatory nod to David Letterman, are Prime Minister Stephane Dion's Top 10 excuses for why the Liberals will not be able to implement the Kyoto accord ... again.

Number 10: "Kyoto ate my protocols."

Number 9: "This is unfair. This is unfair. You don't know what you speak about. Do you think it's easy to make priorities?"

Number 8: "I firmly believe that as a good citizen, I have a moral obligation to implement the Kyoto accord on global warming. Meaning, of course, as a good citizen of France."

Number 7: "Yes, implementing the Kyoto accord is important, but right now our priority has to be reducing medical wait times."

Number 6: One year later: "Yes, implementing the Kyoto accord is important, but right now our priority has to be getting our soldiers out of Afghanistan."

Number 5: Two years later: "Yes, implementing the Kyoto accord is important, but right now our priority has to be reducing medical wait times."

Number 4: Three years later: "Yes, implementing the ... aw, to hell with it."

Number 3: "Define 'implement'."

Number 2: "I lost the Liberal plan to implement the Kyoto accord while I was looking for the Liberal plan to scrap the GST."

And Prime Minister Stephane Dion's number one excuse for not being able to implement the Kyoto accord?

"Ladies and gentlemen, Environment Minister Belinda Stronach."