Oye Vey, Yo! The Gay Black Jew
Wins a Grammy!
Now that I’m back from all the parties and interviews I can finally inform any readers who didn’t watch the Grammies about my great success. Some, like Bill O’Reilly, say the Grammies were rigged and point to the Dixie Chicks as evidence. But I’d like to believe that The Gay Black Jew won solely on merit and my wildly popular attacks on Christianity.
My cherished award, “Best Gay Black Jew Fight Song” was a new category this year. And I must admit—I knew I had a really good shot. I have friends in high places and, well, they may have pulled a few strings for me. In fact, I was the only possible nominee for my category. That probably helped.
But it shouldn’t take away from my remarkable achievement. The night itself is now a blur. I remember smoking a fat blunt with Ludacris and then later Al Gore shook my hand. I didn’t let go for about 30 seconds. I said, “Al, please save the world. Please. Hillary or Obama could lose because of sexist and racist voters. For 2008, the stakes are too high.”
Then, and this was my shining moment, Gore looked at me and asked, “Will The Gay Black Jew endorse me?” Of course I screamed, “Yes!” He smiled and he wasn’t stiff at all. In fact, Gore seemed like a nice, cool and really intelligent guy. With his early condemnation of the Iraq war and long history speaking out against global warming, the presidency could be his for the taking. And Americans love a good comeback story.
When it was over, I had a lot of email addresses and phone numbers for famous people. I soon learned that half of them were wrong, but still…it was a night that I will never forget.
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