- .....in preparation for the introduction of the scientific final solution. Holy Mengle!
- George Jonas: When men are passé, who covers the support payments?
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British scientists reported this week that they’re close to creating artificial sperm. Needless to say, the news is getting everyone very excited. If true, it will be possible to do away completely with that vestigial gender — I hesitate to call it “sex” — known as “men.”
Not a day too soon, I say. Large, hairy creatures, with a knack for tracking dirt into the house, men tend to strut, slouch, or snore, depending on whether they’re trying to walk, dine, or attend a concert. They prance like princes, weave in and out of traffic, then congeal into lumps when they get home. On weekends they pull themselves together long enough to watch the ballgame on TV or sneak out of the house for a game of golf. Mostly they’re underfoot in the kitchen, where they scratch, munch, hitch up their pants, and fail to notice important things, such as people’s new hairdos. They scrounge for bottles of beer to wash down enormous quantities of greasy food they keep demanding in booming voices. Calling them a nuisance is an understatement.
Someone may object that this snapshot of males is of the lower social strata. Okay; for upper crust males, substitute “… scrounge for bottles of claret to wash down enormous quantities of gourmet food they keep demanding in booming voices.” Satisfied? These are the good men, by the way, the ones described as “hard to find.” The rest go downhill from here.
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