Getting on the ban wagon |
Breakfast sausages have no place in a modern democracy. Ban them.
You can't open your morning paper any more without reading about one level of government or another calling for a ban on something.
The federal government proposes to ban Canadian filmmakers from making movies that bureaucrats consider naughty. They also intend to crack down on medicinal herbs. Trafficking in St. John's Wort is out of control in the inner cities.
OPP Commissioner Julian Fantino, who's not in government but at times behaves as though he is, proposes to ban drivers from sliding off the road into the ditch during winter storms.
Moderate, responsible speeding -- that is, driving at 15 km over the limit on a clear highway in good weather, is banned. The OPP used to look the other way, as long as you drove safely. No longer.
Mayor David Miller wants all guns banned. Also he would outlaw gun-making, ammunition, and target-pistol ranges. It doesn't matter to him that most gun crime in Toronto is perpetrated by criminals, wielding illegally-obtained handguns. Guns are bad. Ban them.
Premier Dalton McGuinty banned smoking in cars in which children are passengers. That's because untold thousands of Ontarians are simply too dumb to know second-hand smoke causes disease, and too irresponsible to care properly for their own children.
A ban on cellphone use in cars is next: McGuinty didn't used to like that idea, but lately he's come around to it.
He's developing a taste for bans.
WE'RE STRICT, WE'RE SAFE
Now, here's a conundrum: Last we checked, we were already rather safe, relatively speaking. Compared to say, the '90s, when you could drink beer in a boat, or the '70s, when parents threw their kids in the backs of station wagons without seatbelts, or the '20s, when you could fly a plane without a licence, we're awful strict.
In fact, Canada has to be one of the safest places on Earth. We are an orderly, prosperous people in a country blessed with good roads, universal health care, the rule of law and respect for human life. We have no enemies on our borders. The cold? It's good for us. Brings colour to our cheeks.
Maybe the Norwegians are safer, with their spas and their kelp diets. Or perhaps the Swedes -- they have such nice complexions, and they exhibit good manners even when playing hockey. Amazing. But still, we have to be right up there on the safety scale.
Our political leaders don't think so. They think we need more rules -- always and everywhere. Fine.
But let's be consistent. Which brings us to breakfast sausages.
Have you ever tried to eat just one? Or even two? It's not possible. Cook a pack and the next thing you know, they're half gone -- then all gone.
And don't get us started on the ones flavoured with maple syrup or honey. Those are criminal.
They must be banned.
With luck -- and the best intentions of politicians who have nothing better to occupy their time and our money -- they soon will be.
MICHAEL.DENTANDT@SUNMEDIA.CA
No comments:
Post a Comment